When Dreams Go Bad
by Lonaargh
Summary: Jack finds himself in a room he doesn't recognize with someone he doesn't know. And what happened to the knife? What knife? What has the rum to do with all this? Confusement guaranteed.


_**I was bored, so I thought up another short nonsense story about Jack. In case you hadn't noticed: Jack is dreaming about Mary Sue. All those Mary Sues from the fics here are bound to leak through someday, aren't they?**_

**Disclaimer: Ain't owing it. None of it.**

**When dreams go bad.**

'Right. Where am I?'

Jack examines the room he's in. Everything seems vaguely familiar, but somehow it's not quite right. No, wait. Ah, now he recognizes it. He's in his own cabin. How silly of him not to know this at first, must've been all that rum he had last night.

Or was it actually this morning? Hm. Oh well, it doesn't really matter anyway, one can never have too much rum.

He swaggers to his desk and sits down heavily in the wooden chair. Slumping a little, he closes his eyes and sighs.

What a day. First that storm, after that a small mutiny which could be resolved with as few kills as possible, then all that disappearing rum. Well, not really disappearing. Unless him drinking it all counts as disappearing. But hey, for all the crew knows, it disappeared.

A soft sound to his right makes him glance to the dark corner. Surely enough, something or someone is standing there.

Watching him. Spying on him! Jack jumps up, his hand clutching a knife.

A knife? How did that get there? It wasn't in his hand a minute ago. Ah, that's a thing to ponder about later. First this matter with the strange stranger in his cabin.

"Who's there?" he growls, keeping his eyes fixed on the dark shadow.

Two silver orbs light up from the shadow, slowly floating towards him and into the light. The orbs are eyes. Silver eyes in a face as white as marble. It's a girl! Jack recoils from the sight of this… creature.

It looks like a girl, but something about her is very disturbing. She has a small, cute nose that seems perfect. Pouting, full, pink, glossy lips. And her hair is pitch black with… is that actually natural? Blue streaks?

Her face is set in grim determination.  
"Are you Jack Sparrow? CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow?" She asks, her voice as melodious as crystal bells. It's getting on his nerves.

"Yes I am. And who are you if I may ask? And don't make the mistake in thinking that I may not ask. This is my boat, I may ask you anything I want. So. Who are you?"

What? Wait! Where did his knife go? He had it only a minute ago. What is happening? Why can't he seem to focus?

The girl smiles coyly.  
"My name is Priscilla DuMont. The first and only female pirate…"  
"I think you may be mistaken there, missy. Y'see, Annamaria is quite the…"  
".. And I am your sister!"  
".. come again?"

The girl leaped at him, clutching him around his waist.  
"Oh Jackie boy! I finally found you! All these years I've sailed the seven seas, trying to find you. But here you are! My brother!"

Looking around desperately for help, Jack tries to unlock her hands to release himself.  
"All these years? How long could that possibly be? You're barely 14 years old!"  
Darn, he could really use that knife right now.

The girl looked up at him, her eyes gleaming with some secret delight. Jack shudders, this is going to go completely wrong. He needs help. Gibbs. Where was Gibbs?

"GIBBS! Get yer oversized, drunk, spotty behind over her right now!"

The door bursts open. Thank heavens, reinforcements.  
But it is no Gibbs that storms into the room. Instead of his sturdy and loyal first mate, another young girl bounces in.

"Oh my gosh! You're Jack Sparrow aren't you? I mean, ye! I'm Narcissa! Your fiancée!"

His what now?  
"I don't even know you!" Jack wails, finally breaking free from his so-called sister's grip. The fiancée looks about as scary as the first girl, but with emerald green eyes, pink hair and blood red lips.

He hurries behind his desk, grabbing the chair and holding it up defensively.  
"Stay away! I warn you!"

"It's okay sweety. I know you have lost your memory when you were fighting that awful monster. But I'm here. Everything is going to be okay."

"Memory? I haven't lost my memory! You are daft! Both of you!" Jack took a deep breath, trying to keep the panic down. There's no need for panic. No need at all. What he needs now is rum.

"GIBBS! Get in here!"  
This time the faithful pirate finally runs into the cabin. But instead of coming to the aid of his captain, he slams the door shut and leans against it.

"Gibbs, what in the blazes is going on?" Jack growls, keeping an eye on the two girls who are still trying to reach him.

Gibbs, still panting from the terror he has seen beyond the cabin door, shudders. After making sure that the latch is firmly closed he faces Jack.

"Jack, it's horrid! There's dozens of 'em. All of them screaming that they want you! Sisters, girlfriends, mothers, nieces, even brothers!"  
Jack lowers the chair for just a second, enough time for the two girls to latch onto him again.  
"He's my brother!"  
"He's my husband to be!"

After some help from Gibbs, Jack manages to free himself from the two girls. With a rope they tie them together, giving them some time to think matters over.

But.. where did the rope come from? Something is going on here. But he just can't put his finger on it.

"Gibbs, I think I'm going insane." Jack mutters. No answer.

Gibbs just stands there, his back turned to Jack.  
"Gibbs?" Jack puts his hand on Gibbs' shoulder.

When Gibbs turns around, he's no longer the man he used to be. His beard has disappeared and his eyes turned violet. Golden locks of hair suddenly fall down his shoulders and back.

"Jack! It's me! I'm your long, lost brother Gary! Don't you recognize me?"

Jack screams and pulls his hand back.

That knife! He needs the knife! He storms out of his cabin, to the deck where he comes to a sudden stop.

His ship is swamped with girls. And all of them as scary and perfect as the girls in his cabin. Jack can't move, his feet frozen with horror. Dozens, hundreds of girls. All of them claiming to be his long, lost sister or wife.. He needs to move. If they see him, he's doomed.

"There he is!" a sensual voice screams above the din.  
Oh no…  
He sees the stampede heading for him and he still can't move.  
Oh well. It has been a fun life. For as long as it lasted.  
Jack shuts his eyes, and braces for impact.

Nothing happens. Silence. Jack opens his eyes again.  
He's in bed. The sun is shining and waves are gently breaking against the ship.

Relieved, Jack slumps back against the pillows. It was all a dream.  
Glaring at the rum bottle next to his bed, Jack gives it a good kick. Must've been some bloody bad rum to give him a dream like that.

Well, time to get dressed.

When Jack is out of his cabin, a dark shadow moves in a corner. Slowly, two glowing silver orbs lit up and a knife clatters on the floor..

THE END?


End file.
